My heart bleeded, girl

Houses of the Holy this morning. Sam in white scrubs. Magic fingers. "Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?" Jared saying "liberry." "Dude, I'm not enabling your sick habit." Nice setup for Michael, even if the writers didn't know it at the time. Aw, Sam so wants to believe. Dean whipping out the flask in the middle of the day, already sipping on whiskey at random moments. This is actually a very sad episode, in light of this season.

I just read a story by an author I really like, even though they warned for m/m sexual situations and said in their disclaimer that they were not implying that the story reflected the characters' life choices. I hate having to make that decision, because that stuff really bugs me, but in the end I decided not to deny myself the story.

And then I started thinking about warnings, in particular warnings for m/m and het sex. I know what the argument is for warning for het. You're happily reading a slash story and all of a sudden there's het and you (that person who maybe doesn't lead a heteronromative life) are smacked in the face with heteronormativity.

But I think there's a difference between someone in a story having sex with a woman instead of a man, and a story where the purported slash pairing breaks up because one of them wants a wife, picket fence, and 2.5 children. If I were to write such a story...okay, I wouldn't, so I don't know if I would warn for het so that someone uncomfortable with that could avoid having it shoved in their face yet again, because it's not like societal expectations don't do that everyday. I guess I would warn, because that's not what you sign up for when you click on a slash story, right?

Like I said, in spite of how completely heteronormative my life is, I would never write such a story. Maybe a story in which there is parental/familial/societal pressure on the characters to want that, and maybe one of them caves, or opts for it because it is what they want, but not a story where that decision is depicted as some sort of triumph.

That's like those Wincest stories where Sam and Dean decide their relationship is oh, so wrong and one of them gets married and has kids and their wife finds out and is shocked! and bans the other brother from their life and the married one actually goes along with that. Okay, that's a specific story I unfortunately read once that annoyed the shit out of me, but you see what I'm saying.

I don't like stories that imply one thing is better, or more morally superior than the other.

I'm not sure how I got here from talking about warnings. :)

Also, holy cow, is TV Tropes a place to wander around in forever, or what?

I've been putting some of my fic up at AO3, and I'm having a hard time trying to decide what to do. I was only going to put my Supernatural stuff up there for now, but part of me is tempted to put everything there and drop my website. But then, that's where all my stuff has always been, and now rhyssj's stuff is there, too, although now that foxmonkey is back and has renewed her site, Rhys's stuff is there, too. So do I just leave it alone? Do I keep adding new stories to Dirty Stories *and* put them up at AO3 *and* post them to livejournal? Do I go back and put all my stuff at livejournal, just to have it all there? Do I need to have everything in three different places?

And the thing is, my Sentinel stuff and my older popslash is so full of MS Word coding, it's a complete and total mess, but do I really want to spent the time going back and re-coding the first twenty or so stories I put up? And there's all those bright colors and pictures and giant fonts, wow, but really, that was from back when every single story I posted was the most exciting thing ever, so maybe I should just leave it the way it is?

The other thing is, I'm not getting any younger. I've been in fandom for thirteen years, and I hope to be here a lot longer than that, but someday...where should I put stuff so that it'll always be there? I mean, Ashley will keep paying for Dirty Story if something happens to me, but...it's just weird to think about, you know?

I don't knoooooow.

The Colt can't kill angels, right?

Rain today, on top of the snow. Ice and fog in the morning, then more snow. I decided today that I need to have a plan for next February. I tell myself every year that it's mind over matter, that I just need to keep moving and I'll be fine, that I'm too old to wish an entire month of my life away, but every year it gets too me. Although, after whining, mostly to myself, all afternoon, I feel strangely better now.

I can't believe I wrote Sam/Gabriel over the weekend. Of course, it's all topaz119's fault. It was fun.