My heart bleeded, girl

Wow, people are making me *very* cranky on the internet today. I just left a comment on a J2 story that I didn't read but that floated by me on jsquared_rps. "Boysex" was one of the warnings and I decided that bitching about that here wasn't making me feel any better, so I politely told her that it was both offensive and redundant.

Her reply to me was: "Sorry you feel like that, however it is not something I plan to change. I chose my way to label fics when I started writing and I plan to keep it as long as I myself like it."

So, obviously not a conversation worth pursuing. *rolls eyes*

sidebar: Can I just say how annoyed I am by J2 stories that "fix" the fact that the guys are now married, especially ones where the writer and her commenters moan about that picture of Jared and Jensen hugging at Jared's wedding, and how *sad* it made them? I know, I know, I like J2 non-AUs, and I'm not saying there's a perfect answer, but there's a certain type of story that uses the weddings/marriages in a way that I just don't like, like it's all some big tragedy that needs to be overcome. Or something. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, OKAY?

And I just had to back away from a post in runners, of all places, because someone was coming very close to differentiating between "running" and jogging" in a way that just pisses me off.

Then there's this Criminal Mind casting news. I already had issues with this season. And now I'm gone. I love this show and have really enjoyed watching people discover it, but I'm done. I will miss the remaining cast members.

I wanted to make a separate post for this because I didn't want to include it with things I'm just cranky about.

As you may or may not know, there was a spn_j2_bigbang story posted yesterday that used the recent earthquake in Haiti as a backdrop for a J2 AU romance.

amazonziti has a collection of links here if you're not familiar with the situation.

Lots of very articulate people have voiced their outrage and bafflement at the story, and the fact that anyone could think this was a good idea. What I wanted to talk about is intent.

The last time this happened, I was all about intent. I defended the author, because I knew she didn't mean to hurt anyone, she just didn't know any better and hadn't thought it through. ETA: You know, I'm going to take this link out, for a number of reasons. The author involved asked me to, for one, so there's that. And it's in enough other places that I'm okay with removing it. Also, it wasn't "the last time this happened," because it's happened a lot since then, with both more and less discussion. And I've seen some comments to the effect that "SPN fandom is at it again," and I don't think this sort of fail is specific to one fandom.

That was a few years ago, and I've come to realize that intent doesn't mitigate as much as we'd like to think it does. Because intent doesn't take away the hurt, and how about this? How about you THINK before you write/do something? Pay attention to the world around you. You are not the center of the universe and everyone else isn't just like you! How can people miss this stuff? How can they not realize what they're doing?

And it matters, this kind of stuff matters, because the author of this particular story used the excuse that it's a tradition for romances to be set against the backdrop of historical, sometimes tragic, events. And because it's a tradition, it's okay for people to keep doing it. But it's a problematic tradition to begin with when done a certain way, like telling the story through the eyes of the white people who are of course the *important* part of the story, and it's circular, and it makes people think it's okay to do, so they keep doing it! Argh, that's a clear as mud, sorry. Stop perpetuating a bad trope, is what I think I mean.

I am about as privileged as one person can be, except in the areas of age and gender. I have to THINK about things, and you know? I make an effort to do just that, even if I don't always succeed. I see no evidence of THOUGHT here, so what does intent matter?

When I'm reading a story and I see something like (I'm paraphrasing) this: "Mom's almost 60, she doesn't have much of a fashion sense," it bothers me, because someone is generalizing about women in their 50s, and not in a nice way. (I happen to have a fabulous, if not always age-appropriate, fashion sense, thank you.) I've been dismissed as someone who doesn't count. And I'm sure the writer had no intention of hurting anyone's feelings. They just didn't THINK about a middle-aged woman as anything more than a stereotype.

(And this is so minor compared to what we're talking about, but it's really my only frame of reference, so forgive me.)

I've also seen the usual whining about "omg, this means I can never write characters of color because no matter what I do, someone will tell me I'm doing it wrong!" Someone actually said they were going through their Big Bang "with a white brush" and changing all their CoCs to white people, because they weren't interested in being dogpiled like they think gatorgrrrl is being.

Here's a thought. It seems to me that all you have to do is remember that the characters and people you're talking about are HUMAN BEINGS. And go from there. And think about what you're doing.

Every slash story I've ever written has contained the appropriation and fetishization of gay men for my own enjoyment. I can only hope that the fact I've always tried to remember that first and foremost they are human beings has kept me from being offensive, but I gotta tell you, as time goes by, I'm becoming more and more conscious of what I'm doing there.

And don't get me started on the defenders who only see the hot, romantic story of Jensen and Jared and don't care about anything else, as long as their J2 is intact. There is more in the world beyond your narrow focus, so stop being a jerk and look around.

(Do I need to add that all "you"s and "your"s are general, not specific?)