withdiamonds | (no subject)

I've been reading a lot of meta and thoughts about this episode, and I've realized that what upset me so much was mostly the whole thing with Lisa and Ben. I'm okay with whatever's going on with Sam, although I'm also ready for it to be done with. I just want them to be happy, dammit, is that too much to ask?

Anyway, I got an email from Ashley yesterday about the episode, and I thought what she had to say was interesting. I'm not sure I think she's right, but she said I could quote her, and it's something to think about.

So...wtf? I actually gasped and covered my mouth in shock when I saw Sam let Boris turn Dean into a vampire. And wow, how about Samuel totally calling Sam out on that, maybe Samuel isn't as evil as I think...and oh, poor Dean remembering it! And he didn't even say anything! I woulda been all wtf dude!? I'm not sure how I feel about it, I mean, obviously this season's big mystery is why Samuel and Sam were brought back, who brought them back, and what exactly did it do to Sam, while also questioning if we can really trust the "family", but once again we have Perfect Angel!Dean grappling with Evil Tendency!Sam.

But then I thought, they seem to do that just about every season, right? Sam always follows the dark path, simply because he thinks he's doing the right thing, it never looks dark to him. In this case, it's sacrificing anyone and anything to win the hunt. So perhaps, this is simply Sam's character? Maybe instead of being all Sam fangirly about it and bemoaning the fact that they are once again making him the bad guy, maybe we should just except that perhaps Sam is the bad guy? In a complicated way, of course. But I mean, this is the sixth year in a row that we are watching Sam do questionable things, perhaps we should stop being so surprised by it. Perhaps when Castiel and Bobby were all shocked last year that "hey, Sam is actually kinda a good guy" they had a reason to be shocked? I mean, no one told us Sam was a good guy, hell John told Dean to go ahead and kill him if he had to in the first (second?) season! We all just assumed that underneath Sam was a good guy. I'm not saying he's evil, his actions always spring from good intentions, but at this point we need to maybe accept that he is sorta drawn to the dark side of the force. And in a way that makes his character more interesting, I think. Here is this guy who can turn a bit questionable at the simplest provocation, yet his intentions are always good, he ultimately wants to be a good guy, but he clearly has more fun (and more power/effect) when he uses dark means to an end. And yet, Dean still loves him, would do anything for him, sees this darkness in him and grieves for it almost.

Not to mention, we have seen many hunters that cope in unique ways. We've seen revenge-starved hunters, we've seen "in the name of the Lord" hunters, Dean is kind of a self-martyr, and Sam totally feels at home with the Campbells, who seem a bit questionable. The kind that enjoy the rush and feeling of power that comes from taking down monsters.

Also, totally off topic, but how badass was Dean, taking out all the vampires all on his own. I'm glad Samuel saw that and maybe improved his opinion of Dean as a hunter (which still bugs me btw).

So, yeah, maybe Sam is just a dark kind of guy. Like, we have the hero and the anti-hero. I might be okay with that, if only he'd STOP BREAKING DEAN'S HEART. I still think there's something other than the usual stuff going on with him, though. Because with all the other times, he always loved Dean to a psychotic degree, and I'm not seeing that now. STOP IT, SAM.

ETA: Also, Jared is doing an AMAZING job playing Not!Sam. I'm really impressed.