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withdiamonds at 10:25am on 22/08/2014
withdiamonds at 10:25am on 22/08/2014Three weeks from yesterday, Larry, his sister, Erin, Ashley, and I leave for Japan. Adam and Kae's wedding is on Sunday the 14th in Tokyo. We're very excited, but a bit trepidant, too. (The dictionary tells me there's no such word as 'trepidatious,' but I feel sure there is.)
It was not to be expected, of course, that this trip would be accomplished without drama.
When Erin and Nic got married, they wanted a June wedding. Adam could only come home in August, so they got married in August. A week before when school started and Nic had to go back to work. They still managed to go to Portugal on their honeymoon, so I don't know what the big deal was, but whatever. Well, the big deal for me was that it was Beatlefest weekend, and now there's a good chance every year that she won't go to the Fest because it's their ANNIVERSARY, again, whatever, it's just a date. (Not that I'm bitter.)
Adam and Kae had thought about getting married this past May. Because Sebastian was only a few months old, and because we had just moved in March, we asked him if they could make it later.
So they moved it to September. Which means now Nic can't go because he starts back to work this week and HE'S A VERY IMPORTANT PROFESSOR and can't miss a class. And Adam didn't ask anyone what date in September would work best, they just PICKED A DATE, how dare they. Which was because the wedding is on the 14th and the 15th is a national holiday in Japan so Kae's family can travel back to their homes that day without missing work. But it's not convenient for Nic, so, hey.
(We're leaving on the 11th, which is the day after the ABA visit to the OSU burn center for verification, but you don't see Larry whining, do you? Which is actually a pleasant surprise, but he says Adam is his son, of course that's more important.)
Anyway, Nic threw a fit and said he wasn't going and Erin couldn't go and she certainly wasn't taking Seba with her - make no mistake, it was mostly about money - and Erin was miserable and defensive and Adam's feelings were hurt, and were they even talking to each other, no, guess who was in the middle, passing along messages via Skype, listening to rants from Erin and Nic about how they changed their wedding for Adam and don't tell them that he changed his for them, because no he really didn't.
And Adam being completely bewildered that his sister wouldn't come to his wedding, and me yelling at Nic about how he's taken both our annual Disney World marathon/family vacation (he hates WDW) and Beatlefest away from us, now he wants to take away Adam's wedding, too, and Nic saying horrible things to Erin about Adam which of course she repeated to me, and just.
Haha, at one point Adam said he didn't see why Erin couldn't bring Sebastian - he's a baby and was just going to sit around at home, why couldn't he just sit around on a plane for thirteen hours? Twice?
Finally Adam and Erin talked and she decided she would always regret it if she didn't go, so she told Nic that. And THEN they looked at airfares and Nic said if he'd known it was that inexpensive (relatively speaking) he never would have said no in the first place.
There are days I just want to kill him. He makes life so difficult.
And we're leaving on Thursday morning - on American Airlines instead of All Nippon Air, because it leaves an hour later and that gives Erin an extra hour with Sebastian, and if AA screws us up like they do every time I fly them to Chicago, I'm not going to be happy.
Anyway, we get to Tokyo Friday evening. We're meeting Kae's family on Saturday, then the wedding is Sunday. Monday morning the five of us, Adam and Kae, Kae's parents, and two of Adam's friends are taking the train to Saitama where Adam and Kae live, so he can show us around, show us the bonsai nursery and the bonsai museum where he works. Then, because Erin refused to stay any longer, Kae is putting her on a bus to the airport, and she's going to talk to the driver to have him make sure Erin gets off at the right place. They're adamant about not letting us go anywhere alone because they're sure we'll get lost. It's about two and a half hours from Saitama to the airport, and they wanted Erin to leave on Tuesday, because then we could all take the train to Tokyo together and she could take the train from there to the airport and we could take the train to Kyoto, but she won't leave Sebastian with Nic that long, even though he just spent ten days in England, going to a meeting and then soccer games. So she's essentially going to Tokyo for the weekend.
After Erin gets on the bus, we're all taking the train to Kyoto Monday evening, then spending two nights there. In a Japanese style hotel, which means bedrolls and the five "adults" in one room and the five "kids" in another. Then Wednesday, we'll split up and the four of us who are left, plus Adam and Kae, will take the train to the airport and spend the night in an airport hotel, then we'll leave Thursday morning.
And Larry's sister wants Kae to find her a Catholic church in Tokyo within walking distance of the hotel so she can go to Mass on Sunday. That's been a challenge. Marcia might just have to suck it up and skip Mass that weekend. She does this all the time when we do stuff together, and entire weekends become all about Marcia going to church. She traveled with us all the way to NY for Adam's senior art show when he was in college and then missed the whole thing because she went to Mass.
Ashley and Larry are the only ones not making demands. Ash is annoyed at Erin, but that's nothing new. Larry has reconciled himself to renting a tux and dragging it all over trains in Japan, and to sleeping on a bedroll and to sitting on a plane for hours on end.
I can't wait to see what this wedding's like. No one can wear black, because that's the color of mourning. Except Kae's mother and I are supposed to wear black, because we're mourning the loss of our children. But it has to be relieved by something colorful, because it's a celebration. Kae's mom is wearing a black kimono with white flowers. I could wear a kimono if I was arriving early enough to get fitted, but Adam says I'd probably wear it wrong anyway. My dress is actually a very dark navy, and I have a gazillion stands of pearls I may use as my "color." Kae and Adam will wear traditional Japanese garb, then at some point I think they change into Western style wedding attire. Then after the dinner, there's an hour break before a more relaxed kind of party, for which I had to pick all my favorite Beatle songs, and for which we can change into more relaxed clothing. Like, Larry can change from his tux to a suit.
Larry has to make a speech during dinner, and Kae's mom and I have to sign some sort of permission slip as part of the ceremony. Kae told Erin, Ashley and Marcia that their dresses should be subdued colors and patterns with their shoulders covered, but that we don't have to worry about covering up any tattoos, since we're not Japanese.
The convolutions of money for Japanese weddings is very interesting. If Adam and Kae weren't paying for this themselves, Lar and I would be. Kae's parents are paying for hotel rooms for all their guest, but just the night of the wedding, and we're doing the same. There's also something about paying for immediate family airfare, too. People don't bring gifts, they bring money. Part of that money is to pay for their dinner. So if you invite your coworker, and you've never met their spouse, you don't invite their spouse, because someone you've never met shouldn't be expected to pay for their own dinner. Traditional gift amounts are $200 from friends, $300 from family, and $1000 from parents. Erin and Ashley just laughed when I told them that.
The wedding rings are being made by the same jeweler in Pgh who made Kae's (and Colleen's) engagement rings. I have to pick them up on September 6 when I get my hair done at my old place. Michael has a tendency to push deadlines, so I hope they're ready. If not, Lois can bring them over on the 10th, as she's going to stay here with Neville and Lucy while we're gone. Which is so, so nice of her, but Horace stayed here for the first two weeks of August while Lois and Miles helped their son and his wife, new baby, dog, and two cars move from Durham to Albuquerque, so we're even.
And I haven't posted in forever, and there's my wedding tl;dr. :)
I'm actually so happy for Adam, and we're all excited about this wedding, and the trip. Adam and Kae are really very happy, and in spite of what this post probably sounds like, it's all good. :)
Have some Sebastian. He almost never stops smiling. We call him Mr. Melon Head.
He was laughing, then decided to roar at me for some reason.
He ignores my other tattoos, but really wants these butterflies. He tries to peel them off.
If it has a screen, he wants it. I'm sure he'll get an iPad for Christmas. :)
Everything goes in his mouth, even the tray.
It was not to be expected, of course, that this trip would be accomplished without drama.
When Erin and Nic got married, they wanted a June wedding. Adam could only come home in August, so they got married in August. A week before when school started and Nic had to go back to work. They still managed to go to Portugal on their honeymoon, so I don't know what the big deal was, but whatever. Well, the big deal for me was that it was Beatlefest weekend, and now there's a good chance every year that she won't go to the Fest because it's their ANNIVERSARY, again, whatever, it's just a date. (Not that I'm bitter.)
Adam and Kae had thought about getting married this past May. Because Sebastian was only a few months old, and because we had just moved in March, we asked him if they could make it later.
So they moved it to September. Which means now Nic can't go because he starts back to work this week and HE'S A VERY IMPORTANT PROFESSOR and can't miss a class. And Adam didn't ask anyone what date in September would work best, they just PICKED A DATE, how dare they. Which was because the wedding is on the 14th and the 15th is a national holiday in Japan so Kae's family can travel back to their homes that day without missing work. But it's not convenient for Nic, so, hey.
(We're leaving on the 11th, which is the day after the ABA visit to the OSU burn center for verification, but you don't see Larry whining, do you? Which is actually a pleasant surprise, but he says Adam is his son, of course that's more important.)
Anyway, Nic threw a fit and said he wasn't going and Erin couldn't go and she certainly wasn't taking Seba with her - make no mistake, it was mostly about money - and Erin was miserable and defensive and Adam's feelings were hurt, and were they even talking to each other, no, guess who was in the middle, passing along messages via Skype, listening to rants from Erin and Nic about how they changed their wedding for Adam and don't tell them that he changed his for them, because no he really didn't.
And Adam being completely bewildered that his sister wouldn't come to his wedding, and me yelling at Nic about how he's taken both our annual Disney World marathon/family vacation (he hates WDW) and Beatlefest away from us, now he wants to take away Adam's wedding, too, and Nic saying horrible things to Erin about Adam which of course she repeated to me, and just.
Haha, at one point Adam said he didn't see why Erin couldn't bring Sebastian - he's a baby and was just going to sit around at home, why couldn't he just sit around on a plane for thirteen hours? Twice?
Finally Adam and Erin talked and she decided she would always regret it if she didn't go, so she told Nic that. And THEN they looked at airfares and Nic said if he'd known it was that inexpensive (relatively speaking) he never would have said no in the first place.
There are days I just want to kill him. He makes life so difficult.
And we're leaving on Thursday morning - on American Airlines instead of All Nippon Air, because it leaves an hour later and that gives Erin an extra hour with Sebastian, and if AA screws us up like they do every time I fly them to Chicago, I'm not going to be happy.
Anyway, we get to Tokyo Friday evening. We're meeting Kae's family on Saturday, then the wedding is Sunday. Monday morning the five of us, Adam and Kae, Kae's parents, and two of Adam's friends are taking the train to Saitama where Adam and Kae live, so he can show us around, show us the bonsai nursery and the bonsai museum where he works. Then, because Erin refused to stay any longer, Kae is putting her on a bus to the airport, and she's going to talk to the driver to have him make sure Erin gets off at the right place. They're adamant about not letting us go anywhere alone because they're sure we'll get lost. It's about two and a half hours from Saitama to the airport, and they wanted Erin to leave on Tuesday, because then we could all take the train to Tokyo together and she could take the train from there to the airport and we could take the train to Kyoto, but she won't leave Sebastian with Nic that long, even though he just spent ten days in England, going to a meeting and then soccer games. So she's essentially going to Tokyo for the weekend.
After Erin gets on the bus, we're all taking the train to Kyoto Monday evening, then spending two nights there. In a Japanese style hotel, which means bedrolls and the five "adults" in one room and the five "kids" in another. Then Wednesday, we'll split up and the four of us who are left, plus Adam and Kae, will take the train to the airport and spend the night in an airport hotel, then we'll leave Thursday morning.
And Larry's sister wants Kae to find her a Catholic church in Tokyo within walking distance of the hotel so she can go to Mass on Sunday. That's been a challenge. Marcia might just have to suck it up and skip Mass that weekend. She does this all the time when we do stuff together, and entire weekends become all about Marcia going to church. She traveled with us all the way to NY for Adam's senior art show when he was in college and then missed the whole thing because she went to Mass.
Ashley and Larry are the only ones not making demands. Ash is annoyed at Erin, but that's nothing new. Larry has reconciled himself to renting a tux and dragging it all over trains in Japan, and to sleeping on a bedroll and to sitting on a plane for hours on end.
I can't wait to see what this wedding's like. No one can wear black, because that's the color of mourning. Except Kae's mother and I are supposed to wear black, because we're mourning the loss of our children. But it has to be relieved by something colorful, because it's a celebration. Kae's mom is wearing a black kimono with white flowers. I could wear a kimono if I was arriving early enough to get fitted, but Adam says I'd probably wear it wrong anyway. My dress is actually a very dark navy, and I have a gazillion stands of pearls I may use as my "color." Kae and Adam will wear traditional Japanese garb, then at some point I think they change into Western style wedding attire. Then after the dinner, there's an hour break before a more relaxed kind of party, for which I had to pick all my favorite Beatle songs, and for which we can change into more relaxed clothing. Like, Larry can change from his tux to a suit.
Larry has to make a speech during dinner, and Kae's mom and I have to sign some sort of permission slip as part of the ceremony. Kae told Erin, Ashley and Marcia that their dresses should be subdued colors and patterns with their shoulders covered, but that we don't have to worry about covering up any tattoos, since we're not Japanese.
The convolutions of money for Japanese weddings is very interesting. If Adam and Kae weren't paying for this themselves, Lar and I would be. Kae's parents are paying for hotel rooms for all their guest, but just the night of the wedding, and we're doing the same. There's also something about paying for immediate family airfare, too. People don't bring gifts, they bring money. Part of that money is to pay for their dinner. So if you invite your coworker, and you've never met their spouse, you don't invite their spouse, because someone you've never met shouldn't be expected to pay for their own dinner. Traditional gift amounts are $200 from friends, $300 from family, and $1000 from parents. Erin and Ashley just laughed when I told them that.
The wedding rings are being made by the same jeweler in Pgh who made Kae's (and Colleen's) engagement rings. I have to pick them up on September 6 when I get my hair done at my old place. Michael has a tendency to push deadlines, so I hope they're ready. If not, Lois can bring them over on the 10th, as she's going to stay here with Neville and Lucy while we're gone. Which is so, so nice of her, but Horace stayed here for the first two weeks of August while Lois and Miles helped their son and his wife, new baby, dog, and two cars move from Durham to Albuquerque, so we're even.
And I haven't posted in forever, and there's my wedding tl;dr. :)
I'm actually so happy for Adam, and we're all excited about this wedding, and the trip. Adam and Kae are really very happy, and in spite of what this post probably sounds like, it's all good. :)
Have some Sebastian. He almost never stops smiling. We call him Mr. Melon Head.
He was laughing, then decided to roar at me for some reason.
He ignores my other tattoos, but really wants these butterflies. He tries to peel them off.
If it has a screen, he wants it. I'm sure he'll get an iPad for Christmas. :)
Everything goes in his mouth, even the tray.